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Sunday, March 9, 2014

Xbox: Thief

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Thief is quite honestly the biggest gaming disappointment in the last six months and that is saying quite a lot. 

I will admit I got sucked in by flashy videos and pretty graphics.  The game is disappointment from the moment it fires up.  Seriously Eidos and Square Enix you couldn’t give users the option to adjust in-game gamma?  No, you require that I destroy my finely tuned video settings on my television.  Didn’t happen for my game nor for my husband’s. 

Actual game play is atrocious.  I don’t have a great love of the series so I have no nostalgia that would keep me playing the game.  The story is abysmal.  Wait correction, what little story there is makes no sense and is just a series of words strung together in sentence format.  Or as I described the story earlier today, Plants v. Zombies: Garden Warfare has a better story and there is NO story whatsoever in that game.

Then there is the issue of Garret the master thief who must carry an gnome fence in his pocket who immediately purchases the items Garret loots.  And those items our master thief loots?  Yeah, they are so sparkly that every damn magpie bird in the game would have already made off with the items in question.  And a master thief that steals tea saucers and letter openers?  Seriously, he isn’t a master thief he is a petty thief.

Actual stealth is a joke as are his abilities.  He can scale some walls that make no sense with his “claw” tool but that average size fence, no way our alleged master thief would ever be capable of scaling such an obstacle.  Environments aren’t open, there is a definite approved path to accomplish tasks, there is only one “right” way to finish.

I only managed to finish the introduction and first chapter of the game.  I tried to play through the second chapter this morning but I flat out don’t have the time or patience to pull my hair out just to say I finished the game.  The game was a waste of $60 bucks and undoubtedly it will go on sale shortly on the game store and I will be irritated and pissed off even more. 

Honestly, save your money take someone you love to the movies or out for dinner.  The game is utter crap and unworthy of even 1 star out of 5, so I will get a 0 of 5 stars. 

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